We are all concerned about the tarbiyyah and nurturing of our children. We go at lengths to ensure they receive the best education by the best teachers – enrolling them on to courses and after school classes and clubs. We are quick to correct and guide our children, but did we ever think – has MY tarbiyyah been done? When is the last time I worked on myself to become the ideal parent? What is the ideal parent? Why is my child becoming so distant from myself and his religion? How did the previous generations bring up such successful kids without access to colleges, universities, private tuition and the technology? Where are we going wrong?

The answer is – My Tarbiyyah. We as parents haven’t studied or been taught what it means to be a parent. We have just imitated our forefathers and our decisions are based on what society dictates. In order to raise creative, confident and characterful children, we ourselves need to know what confidence, creativity and success is. Is our purpose in life just to be the financial and logistical guardians of our children, paying for their education and driving them about? Or do we play a bigger role in fulfilling their physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual needs? Do we even know what our developmental needs are as adults?

We believe, we can only achieve social excellence by rediscovering ourselves first. Allah has given us a great responsibility as leaders, but do I as a leader have clarity on my purpose of existence? Do I have clarity on the path I must follow as dictated by Allah and his Messenger? Or am I simply following the system, culture and set of values which society has imposed on me?

Tarbiyyah can only be done if we become the favourite person of an individual. Once our children fall in love with our character as parents or teachers, they will happily accept our advice and make the right decisions. Once a person feels safe, protected, respected and loved, they are prepared to accept you as there teacher and mentor. After all – isn’t this exactly what our Prophet did?

My Tarbiyyah is about rediscovering ourselves, reflecting and studying on our own behaviours, attitudes and becoming mentors who can lead by example without the need to outsource everything to a 3rd party. My Tarbiyyah is about securing ones own salvation first, and through role modelling, the tarbiyyah of others can easily be done.